1
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,622
I'm sure you're all aware
of the conflict in Burundi
2
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:28,326
which is now spilling over
into Rwanda and Uganda.
3
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,694
He's making
these names up.
4
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,496
He's finally run out
of stuff to teach.
5
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:35,700
The Burundian conflict
centers on class differences
6
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,438
between the poorer Hutus
and the richer Tutsis.
7
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,740
We're gonna have to put
a bag over him and
drag him out of the room.
8
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:44,008
That way,
we save his dignity.
9
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:45,310
Class differences,
10
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:49,080
the strife between
the have and the have-nots,
11
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:52,050
a perennial source of misery
on our planet.
12
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,585
Another source of misery,
13
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:56,588
I expect each of you
to do a paper on this topic
14
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,056
during Thanksgiving break.
15
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,457
(STUDENTS GROAN)
16
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,893
He's trying to
drag us down with him.
17
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,862
But before we break
for the holiday,
18
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:08,500
I want to congratulate you all
on this year's food drive.
19
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:12,337
I mean, you've shown real
generosity and selflessness.
20
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,438
That said,
21
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,939
this year's winners
22
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:17,242
are Cory Matthews
and Shawn Hunter.
23
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,576
Oh, yeah!
24
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,846
(GRUNTING)
25
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,580
Mr. Feeny,
this is so unfair.
26
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,883
They just keep turning in
the same cans
year after year.
27
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,652
Hey, my family gives them
to the food bank,
28
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,053
the food bank gives them
to my family,
29
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:30,121
my family gives them
back to the food bank.
30
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,790
It's life in
the food bank chain.
31
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,458
So, what'd we win,
Mr. Feeny?
32
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,560
You've won a turkey...
Oh.
33
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,862
And a box of stuffing.
34
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,162
Ooh.
Ooh.
35
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,798
(BELL RINGS)
36
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:43,302
Have a wonderful holiday,
and don't forget that paper.
37
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,372
Shawn, you can
have the turkey.
I'll take stuffing.
38
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,940
But I want stuffing.
39
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,342
Well, of course
you want stuffing.
Everyone wants stuffing.
40
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,743
Stuffing's the best part.
I'll flip you for it.
41
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:53,044
I don't want to lose.
But you might win.
42
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,645
But, you see, if I lose,
then I don't get stuffing.
43
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,315
There must be a way
for both of us
to have stuffing.
44
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,482
There isn't.
There must be.
45
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:58,683
Impossible.
There's stuffing.
46
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,819
You either have it,
or you don't, unless...
47
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:01,987
We get more stuffing?
48
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,555
No. I'd want that, too.
49
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,257
What I'm getting at
is that we both have
stuffing together.
50
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:07,926
But it's Thanksgiving.
I gotta be
with my family.
51
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,228
Well, me, too.
Don't you see?
That's perfect.
52
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,863
We can have
Thanksgiving together.
53
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,164
But our families
barely know each other.
54
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:16,201
And what better time
for them to get acquainted.
55
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,103
Okay. Okay.
56
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,339
It'll be the first
Hunter-Matthews
Thanksgiving dinner.
57
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,907
It's gonna be great.
58
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,242
I don't wanna.
59
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,743
Come on.
It's Thanksgiving,
60
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,045
a time of thanks...
And giving.
61
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:28,747
It's a family
holiday.
62
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,716
Well, the Hunters are
a family, we're a family.
63
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,317
We can be families
together.
64
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:33,985
I'll tell you one thing.
Over at the Hunters,
65
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:37,623
they are absolutely
delighted about having
Thanksgiving with us.
66
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,223
Do I look
delighted?
67
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:42,093
Oh, come on.
Why can't we all spend
Thanksgiving together?
68
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:46,164
Because it is unnatural
to mix the classes, Son.
69
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:49,701
You're tampering
with the primal force
of nature here.
70
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:53,271
Why? I think getting
together with the Matthews
is a wonderful idea.
71
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,040
Have you been drinking?
72
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:57,109
I don't see
anything wrong
about having contact
73
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,677
with a better class
of people.
74
00:02:58,745 --> 00:02:59,811
Better?
75
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,047
Well, now we get to it.
76
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,282
You are a social climber.
77
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,118
Say what you will,
but they're coming.
78
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,388
Over my
big, dead body.
79
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,123
My folks are
totally up for it.
80
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,493
Mine, too.
It is gonna be great.
81
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,802
That was Virna Hunter
with a little
pre-Thanksgiving Day tip.
82
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,803
Oh, that's nice.
What did she say?
83
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,305
Well, apparently,
there are a lot
of stray animals
84
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,573
running around
the trailer park,
85
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,909
particularly
this one vicious goat,
86
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:35,280
so don't wear red
and don't make
any jerky movements.
87
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,516
Oh. Well, maybe
we should wear
camouflage.
88
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,384
That upsets the bear.
89
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,320
(KNOCKING)
90
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,492
Hello, Mr. Matthews.
91
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,093
Out of respect,
I come to you,
92
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,862
the father of
young Morgan Matthews,
93
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:54,432
to discuss, shall we say,
a dating situation.
94
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,635
(WHISPERING)
Amy, call the cops.
95
00:03:57,705 --> 00:04:00,405
No, no, no.
Mr. Matthews,
please.
96
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,673
Herman.
97
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,479
Go ahead, Herman,
just as we practiced.
98
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,281
Dear Matthews family,
99
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,051
especially the father,
100
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:16,421
I request the presence
of Morgan Matthews
101
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,424
for an after-dinner
piece of pumpkin pie.
102
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,460
Word around
the trailer park
suggests
103
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:24,028
that you will be
on the premises
Thanksgiving Day.
104
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,698
Mom, Dad,
would that be okay?
105
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,768
That would be fine.
106
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,204
Come, Herman.
If we are to have
a female visitor,
107
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,405
we must tidy
the trailer.
108
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,307
Good day to you,
the Matthews.
109
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,777
And we look forward
to seeing you on Thursday.
110
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,580
Oh. A word
of gentle caution...
111
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,081
We know
about the goat.
112
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,250
Do not underestimate him.
113
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,684
He is wily.
114
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,057
Wow. This is
gonna be great.
115
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,760
You guys are finally
gonna get to see
where my best friend lives.
116
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,062
Oh, I left
my purse in the car.
117
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,898
What do you need
your purse for?
118
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,666
Well, I just don't wanna
leave it in the car, okay?
119
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,134
Well, I don't want
to leave the car
in the car,
120
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,703
but we're stuck
with it, okay?
121
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,238
I can't believe you guys.
Just give me
the keys to the car.
122
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,707
I'll be more than happy
to go and get the purse.
123
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:09,775
And when would
you be back?
124
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,108
Not coming back.
125
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,478
You know, I am never taking
you guys anywhere again.
126
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:17,181
I am very surprised
by this family's
negative attitude.
127
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,684
I have to go
to the bathroom.
128
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,119
Not here, honey.
Hold it
till we get home.
129
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,653
Cory, purse.
130
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:25,757
Okay, look,
the Hunters' trailer,
it's right over there.
131
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,625
Ah, the one that looks
like all the other ones.
132
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:28,693
Yeah, that's it.
133
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,469
Okay, so which one
did Cory say it was?
134
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,872
Well, maybe it's the one
with their name on it.
135
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,441
That says
"The Unters," Dad.
136
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,976
Obviously,
the "H" fell off
137
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:48,113
during the last twister
or flood or goat attack.
138
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,751
Uh... Hi there.
You folks lost?
139
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:57,021
Uh, isn't this
the Hunters' trailer?
140
00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,091
Uh, no.
We're the Unters,
141
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,427
like it says
right there
on the side.
142
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,563
Oh. Well, naturally,
I assumed
143
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:07,799
that the "H"
had fallen off.
144
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,969
So you think if a letter
fell off my name,
145
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,804
I wouldn't replace it?
146
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,039
No, no.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
147
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,842
We're just lost.
We're just...
148
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,477
Friendly people lost.
149
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,381
So you aren't
from around here.
150
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,015
We live over
in Cedar Heights.
151
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:25,984
Ah, well, la-de-da.
152
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:29,487
I hear that Cedar Heights
is quite
the lovely neighborhood.
153
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:33,424
We're having
Thanksgiving dinner
with the Hunters.
154
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,159
The Chet Hunters?
155
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,863
Now, you see,
they have an "H."
156
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,866
Yes, so we're just
gonna get over there
157
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:44,102
if you could
just tell us
where "there" is.
158
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,571
The Chet Hunters
live right, um...
159
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,473
There.
160
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,043
Mmm-hmm. So...
161
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,112
I won't be keeping you
any longer
162
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,214
because I'm sure
they're really
looking forward
163
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,116
to your visit.
164
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:08,226
Okay, they're here.
Big smiles, everybody.
165
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,531
Hi. How you doing?
Come on in.
166
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,600
Hi.
Hi.
167
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,769
Hi, Chet.
Hi.
168
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,938
Wow. We were over
at the Unters.
169
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,941
Chet, I brought you this
really nice bottle of wine.
170
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,243
Well, thank you, Alan,
171
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,678
but as it happens,
172
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:29,681
we had a very good wine
planned for this
evening's festivities.
173
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,183
Excellent wine,
whole box of it right
in the refrigerator.
174
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,018
Oh, well,
in that case,
175
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,286
we don't need
to drink this.
176
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,555
We'll drink yours
and save this.
177
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,157
No, no, no, no.
178
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:41,192
If you went
to the trouble of
bringing us wine,
179
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,962
the least we can do
is drink yours
and not ours.
180
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,031
You know what would be
just special?
181
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,267
What do you say we pour
both our wines in a big bowl
182
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,102
and add
some bananas
and oranges
183
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,571
and have ourselves
some friendship Sangria?
184
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,607
(SOFTLY) Nobody
wants that, Virna.
185
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,375
(WHISPERING)
Yes, we do.
We want that.
186
00:07:57,444 --> 00:08:00,144
We want bananas
and oranges
187
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,915
and tiny little
pastel-colored umbrellas.
188
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,818
Now you go get them.
They're in the drawer.
189
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,653
May I serve you
some hors d'oeuvres?
190
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:13,124
This is a Gruyere
and pecan log
191
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,659
with a selection
of crackers.
192
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,094
It's one
of the items
I most enjoy
193
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,795
from the good people
at Hickory Farms.
194
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,265
Oh, I would love some.
Thank you, Virna.
195
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:21,733
Looks great.
196
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,168
Mmm.
197
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,704
I know it's not
as fancy
198
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:27,605
as what you
would have served
at your home.
199
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,341
No, no, it's exactly
what I would have served.
200
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,143
No. You're
just saying that.
201
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,111
You would have
served the port wine
Cheddar
202
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,847
in the ceramic
crock.
203
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,248
Yeah. Remember,
you gave it
to that mailman
204
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,983
that one year
for Christmas.
205
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,384
What?
206
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,887
He's not
just our mailman.
207
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,922
He's my biological
father.
208
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,258
But he doesn't know
that I know.
209
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:50,061
I should have
bought the crock.
210
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,463
I'm pretty sure
Hickory Farms
is still open.
211
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,998
I'll buy the crock.
212
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,668
Virna. Virna.
Virna.
213
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,770
Right now, you're
acting as daffy
214
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,806
as your Aunt Lucy
who nobody speaks of.
215
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,042
I just wanted tonight
to go well.
216
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:07,078
Well, it can't go well
if you go running off
into the night
217
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:11,149
like some kind of
cheese-crazed banshee,
now, can it?
218
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:15,052
Yes, it can. Cheese
can turn this around.
219
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,822
It's not about
what we eat, honey.
220
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,757
It's about who we are.
221
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,997
And who they are.
And we're different.
222
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,600
And no amount of cheese
is gonna change the fact
223
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:30,835
that tonight
is not gonna go well,
224
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,570
and I told you so.
(SIGHS)
225
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,640
Hey. How we all doing?
226
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,576
Great or really great?
227
00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:44,949
Shawn, how could you
let this thing fall apart
before I even get here?
228
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,518
It's bigger than me,
Cory. It's bigger
than both of us.
229
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,421
Okay. Well, it's up to us
to hold this thing together.
230
00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:52,590
Lose the purse,
and I'll take you
seriously.
231
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,692
But it goes with my shoes.
232
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:56,694
(CHUCKLES)
233
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,397
Here you go, Mom.
234
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,334
Chet, is everything
all right?
235
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:06,437
Oh, uh...
You mean Virna?
236
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,239
She's just having
one of her bouts.
237
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,010
You got
any female calmin' pills
in that purse?
238
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,446
Not that I can spare.
239
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,914
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
240
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,082
Well, that's my lift.
241
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,784
Thanks for having
me, seriously.
242
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,819
Seriously, thanks
for having me.
243
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,221
Nobody's getting off
this island, Gilligan.
244
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:29,961
Well, hey there, Luther.
What can I do you for?
245
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,763
We're having
an emergency meeting
246
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,999
of the Trailer Park
Homeowners Association
247
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,802
of which we strongly feel
you should attend.
248
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:40,037
Kind of busy
now, Luther.
249
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,739
You know,
entertaining and all.
250
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,909
Emergency meeting.
251
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,977
We strongly feel
(WHISPERING)
that you should attend.
252
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:49,580
Oh.
253
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,782
Uh, okay.
254
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,484
Y'all party on.
255
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:56,787
Don't let my absence
be a damper
on the evening's soiree.
256
00:10:59,393 --> 00:11:00,858
Now, Luther, what
was so important
257
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,828
that you had to drag me
away from my guests?
258
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,500
Oh, my stars
and garters.
259
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,537
Yes, Chet,
it is I, Herbert.
260
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:16,374
Herbert, I hope you've
simply come to wish me
a happy Thanksgiving
261
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,176
and that
I've given you no cause
262
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,144
to emerge from
your deep seclusion.
263
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,114
Once there was a land
below the freeway overpass
264
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,482
next to
the self-storage
facility.
265
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:26,884
And men
saw that land,
266
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:30,655
and they knew
that it was good
and trailer-ready.
267
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:33,457
And so we gathered here
with our families,
268
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:37,728
hard-working men and women
of a common purpose,
269
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,664
and each family
having no more
or less
270
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,466
than his neighbor.
271
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,202
There was no envy
and there was no shame,
272
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:49,040
and, so, there was
peace upon this land
until today,
273
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:52,476
where you have
brought outsiders
into our midst.
274
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,546
Come on, Herbert.
They're really
very nice people.
275
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,081
They are not
from here,
276
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,649
and they look down
upon us,
277
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,252
and we will not tolerate
their condescension.
278
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:03,854
Oh, come on, Herbert.
279
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,256
I mean,
I don't want to be
280
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,325
of a different mind
than the multitude,
281
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,161
but don't you think
you're pressing
some emotional hot buttons
282
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,996
just to get
the people riled up?
283
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,297
Enough!
284
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,699
Jerry Springer's on.
285
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,538
So, get 'em
out of here, Chet.
286
00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:22,573
Get 'em out of here now.
287
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,383
I have Cheez Whiz,
288
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,621
Rice Chex,
289
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:39,223
and an olive
with a pimento on it.
290
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,759
Please.
291
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,996
I told you this
was a great idea.
292
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:48,166
It's an episode of COPS
waiting to happen.
293
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,068
You know,
Chet's been gone
an awful long time.
294
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:52,036
Do you think there's
any kind of problem?
295
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,605
Oh, no.
I'm sure it's nothin'.
296
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,807
And I would just like
to apologize
297
00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,244
for my previously
erratic behavior,
298
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:05,683
and I just hope
we can get back
to our uneventful...
299
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,952
Wikki wikki
Hawaiian luau.
300
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,523
What?
301
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,526
Well, I hope
y'all enjoyed your dinner
and thanks for coming,
302
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,261
and, well, let's do this
again next year
303
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,831
at some neutral
third-party
air force base.
304
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,332
Dad, we haven't
eaten yet.
305
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,233
Of course
we haven't eaten.
306
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,636
Why, our guests
have just arrived.
307
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:29,106
But this is the small talk
part of the evening,
308
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,508
so y'all talk,
we'll talk.
309
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,809
Everybody
talk, talk.
310
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,110
Outside.
311
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,580
(DOOR CLOSING)
312
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,950
Ah, them Hunters. (LAUGHS)
313
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:42,086
Quirky, but
you gotta love 'em.
314
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,188
You did this to us.
315
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,023
I mean, I could be
at home right now
316
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,325
in my nice,
comfortable house,
317
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:49,193
which is built
into the ground,
318
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,028
but no, no, no.
See, you had
to drag us
319
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,663
to the center
of Looneyville.
320
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,665
Eric, Eric, I'm sure
your brother
feels bad enough.
321
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:55,766
Let me talk to him.
322
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,101
The Cowboys, Redskins.
323
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,837
That's a good game
I'm missing.
324
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,605
Alan, he's just a boy.
He meant well.
325
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,941
Honey, I know that Shawn
is your best friend,
326
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,911
but we never really
made friends
with his parents.
327
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,212
Yeah, but why, Mom?
328
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,913
I mean, just because
we have more things
than they do?
329
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,616
Because Dad makes more money
than Shawn's dad?
330
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,687
That's why we can't sit down
and have a nice meal together?
331
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,022
(SIGHS)
332
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,892
Son, you won't
realize this
till you grow up,
333
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:24,595
but being right
is not necessarily
enough
334
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,864
to change the way
people feel.
335
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,467
I told you
what would happen
336
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,237
if you invited
them "aristocats"
down here, Virna.
337
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:36,440
Now we have ourselves
a real situation here.
338
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,076
So what? You're just
gonna kick
my friend's parents out?
339
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,312
No, I'm not gonna kick
your friend's parents out.
340
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,381
I am, however, gonna
really hurry 'em along.
341
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,817
Well... (LAUGHS)
Hello.
342
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,220
What are y'all
doing out here,
outside,
343
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:52,190
where you can be seen
through a scope?
344
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:55,226
Well, we're taking Morgan
over to Herman's trailer.
345
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,928
Okay. Okay.
That'll be fine.
346
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,530
Shawny, why don't
you go with them
347
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,165
and show him
how we locals
348
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,634
like to walk real low
to the ground?
349
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,370
You know, for fun.
350
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,573
I'm sorry.
351
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:09,707
I'm sorry, too.
352
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,218
Ready for your pie?
353
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:22,887
I... I just
got my turkey.
354
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,122
(CLEARS THROAT)
Please don't take this
the wrong way,
355
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,125
but don't you think
we oughta
wait for the kids?
356
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,860
It's a Hunter
Thanksgiving tradition.
357
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,128
Kids don't eat,
and it's time
for pie.
358
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,964
Oh. There goes my fork.
359
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,165
What's that make? Three?
360
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,568
Here. Have another.
361
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:41,338
Oh, I guess it's good
to have a big 'ol bag
of forks around.
362
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:47,144
Well, this time, I'm gonna
try and find a sturdier one.
363
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:50,181
Or you could go easy
on the one you got.
364
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,316
Chet, you're right.
Why waste another fork?
365
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:55,953
I'm just gonna use
the little forky part
of the one I got.
366
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,522
Chet, (CLEARS THROAT)
367
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,659
if our dinner guest
is not comfortable
with our plasticware,
368
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,627
I think it's only right
we accommodate him
369
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,596
with a regular
metal fork.
370
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,833
Well, heck, why don't
we just give everybody
a metal fork?
371
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:10,234
(SOFTLY)
No, Chet. No.
372
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,536
Why? Why? Because
our forks don't match?
373
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,638
Our forks don't match.
374
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,908
Oh, you know,
I remember so well
375
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,876
that our forks and spoons
didn't match
376
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,945
when we were
starting out.
377
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,748
(CHUCKLES)
378
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:29,286
(CLEARS THROAT)
379
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,923
Chet, Virna,
380
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:36,693
clearly this
isn't working.
381
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,329
You guys went way out
of your way for us,
382
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,365
and we really
appreciate it.
383
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:43,100
I understand.
It's not personal.
384
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,836
Sometimes what's
important to realize
385
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:48,339
is some folks just don't
blend together so well.
386
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,775
Yeah. We should just
leave it that way.
387
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,444
Doesn't make it
anybody's fault.
388
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,913
I'm sure the kids
will understand.
389
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,519
Shawn, I'm really
sorry about
this whole thing.
390
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,755
I mean, my parents
have just been
acting like jerks.
391
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,757
Yeah, well, my parents
didn't exactly
go out of their way
392
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,693
to make them
feel welcome.
393
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,461
I guess this whole thing
was just a mistake.
394
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:13,097
You know, why can't they
just hang out together?
395
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,433
Adults are not
narrow-minded by nature.
396
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,801
They can, however,
be set in their ways.
397
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,770
I am
but a callow youth,
398
00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:21,138
yet it seems to me
a shame
399
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,306
they should be
set in the way
400
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,041
of disliking
each other.
401
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,777
They come
from different worlds.
402
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,978
Think of them
as the Hutus and Tutsis,
403
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,549
living with prejudice
and hatred passed on
from parent to child
404
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,651
because it is what
they've grown accustomed to.
405
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,019
You know,
are we the only two people
on this whole planet
406
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,422
who don't know
who the Hutus
and Tutsis are?
407
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:42,627
You know, Cory, for once,
I think our ignorance
may be working for us.
408
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,296
What? You mean
if we knew better,
we wouldn't be friends?
409
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,798
Yeah, so I'm glad
we don't know better.
410
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:49,934
Yeah, me, too.
411
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,269
Well, our table
is in order.
412
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:55,339
It is time to proceed
with our holiday repast.
413
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,444
Are you guys sure
this is okay?
414
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,080
There is always room
for more at our table.
415
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,522
It is our
Thanksgiving custom
416
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:16,093
to go around the table
and let each person say
what they are thankful for.
417
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:18,062
Then we eat?
Then we eat.
418
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,231
I'm thankful for that.
Next.
419
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,100
More?
420
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:25,936
Okay. Um...
421
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:30,207
I'm also thankful to be
having Thanksgiving dinner
with my brother
422
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,977
and my sister
and all my friends
423
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,512
and that
I'm taping the game.
424
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,481
Next.
425
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,315
I'm thankful
for these guests
426
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:41,218
and that we've been blessed
with enough food
to share with them.
427
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,319
Herman.
428
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,856
I'm thankful
to be sitting
429
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,425
next to this
delicate blossom
who has won my heart.
430
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,228
Dearest.
431
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,664
I am, for once,
thankful to be sitting
at the kids' table.
432
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:54,798
Shawn.
433
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,301
I'm thankful that
you're my friend.
434
00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,370
And I guess
I'm thankful
435
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,638
that my parents
taught me
436
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,006
to like people
for who they are,
437
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,410
even if they
weren't lucky enough
438
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,812
to be raised
that way themselves.
439
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,685
Well, I feel
about two inches tall.
440
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,521
Whew. That's two inches
taller than I feel.
441
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,757
Maybe we could all
try this again.
442
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,560
It'd be a shame
to waste all that cheese.
443
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,263
Hey, Luther,
444
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,065
why don't you
join us here?
445
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:31,302
We're having
an emergency meeting
of the human race.
446
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:35,039
(CLEARING THROAT)
Y'all have room for us?
447
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:38,209
Yeah. There's always room
for more at our table.
448
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:15,580
By and large, your papers
were above-average.
449
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:19,149
Very good work.
450
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,119
What, don't I get mine?
Did you recycle it already?
451
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,391
Can't just fail me
privately.
452
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,694
You gotta
Braveheart me up here.
453
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,329
I simply wondered
if you would mind
454
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,197
reading your paper
to the class,
455
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,532
starting here.
456
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,434
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay.
457
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:40,304
"This past week,
I spent Thanksgiving
458
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,539
"with the Hutus
and the Tutsis,
459
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,208
"which was a real surprise
to me
460
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,910
"because I live
in Philadelphia,
461
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,345
"and I thought
that kind of prejudice
based on class differences
462
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,247
"only happened
in undeveloped countries."
463
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,883
It that enough?
I'm getting vertigo
464
00:20:52,951 --> 00:20:54,852
from facing this way
in the room.
465
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,420
No, no. Go on.
466
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:02,092
"But I discovered
that even in my very own
civilized country,
467
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:05,095
"people can be
just as undeveloped
and just as cruel.
468
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,731
"But more importantly,
and the thing
that gives me hope,
469
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,466
"is that as long
as the children are educated
470
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,601
"about the dangers of
prejudice and intolerance,
471
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:15,839
"then perhaps
there will be a reason for
Thanksgiving in the future."
472
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:22,479
That's the best work
you've ever done,
Mr. Hunter.
473
00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:24,815
Um... C minus?
474
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:26,950
All right.
475
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:28,518
No.
476
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:30,353
A plus.
477
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,322
(GASPS)
478
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:36,093
I'm as shocked
as you are.
479
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,863
All right, Shawn.
A plus.
480
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,334
I'm better
than you are now.